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Interviews by Coachman
Welcome, I am the Coach Jonathan Coachman and what a week its been in the WWF...I mean welcome to the interview section of The XRF website. Here I will find out everything I can about the superstars you see everyday. After my interviews you'll never look the at them the same way again.
Old interview are availible at the bottom of the page.
Word! |
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Benzino: Behind the Jell-O
Coach: 3..2..1
WORD!
Welcome to the first ever interview on the brand new XRF.com In our first in a series of interviews we have Benzino otherwise known as The Future
Future: Thanks Coach its good to be here
Coach: Future, you returned sensationally at KOTM in a brutal match against Yokozuna what did you think of the match?
Future: Well you know something kiddo... I came back with two goals on my mind. First, I wanted to bring back the Duffman championship from that smelly, dead Yokozuna, and in the process be the only real man to powerslam Yokozuna and second... I wanted to prove to all these fans that I'm not just some jackass who had helium up his ass or had a jell-o addiction. I wanted to prove that I am a deserving champion. and I think i did that
Coach: Do you think that diaper thing Yoko wears chafes?
Future: It seemed so during the match. i was gonna go and attempt an atomic wedgie, but he looked to be in so much pain from wearing the diaper that i couldn't pull myself to do it
Coach: And of course youre the new Duffman Champion
Future: And best ever
Coach: Future theres something Ive always wanted to ask you about...where did you get youre third nipple from
Future: It was a failed science experiment by my younger brother. He said he could cure my explosive diarrhea, but the medicine did not do as it was intended
Coach: Wow...o_O
Future: Don't look at me like that
Coach: Im sorry but your third nipple...it follows me around the room when I move
Future: :(
Coach: Ok lets move on, how did you find this dark corner of the internet filled with so many internet pervs?
Future: I used to go to some other website for info on wrestling, but it shut down.. And no, it wasn't anything as gay as TPWW. So I searched on Google and found this hell... erm, sanctuary
Coach: And how did you get interested in R Feds?
Future: work-release program. i stole a couple of hams and a slush machine from the grocery store, and either i went to jail or i wrestled and gave my money to charities that support ophans whose parents were mistaken for seals and clubbed to death
Coach: And after you arrived you soon found yourself involved in the R Feds. Why did you join the XRF and not one of the lesser...I mean other feds
Future: To be honest, I read some of the shows and I said, "If I go to the XRF, maybe I'll make it to the WWF. Or at least become the next TCK and then Gregor and KC called me up.
Coach: Liar, no one wants to be like TCK, not even TCK
Future: You damn right. I wanted to be like RiJ
Coach: So your admiration for rij is how he got you into bed?
Future: Yeah, I call him Guybrush, and he calls me Herman
Coach: Ok, what has been the most memorable experience of your life so far
Future: Probably graduating from high school and proving that yes, someone can bullshit their way through high school
Coach: Sound advice for all the little Future-holics out there
Future: That or getting head in the haunted house, that was memorable.......
Coach: Well we'll save the hanted house one for the x rated version
Future: .....uh huh...
Coach: How old are you and where you from
Future: I'm 20, and I'm representing the Woo... Worcester, MA and not that sorry groups of goofballs from the XRF
Coach: and if that sorry bunch off goofballs and the init? were in a fight who would win?
Future: Probably Init?, Because Suno is so gangsta and because Ibby's vest would cause Team Woo to stop in their tracks and laugh their asses off, causing them to become momentarily paralysed
Coach: And what about the future of the Future and of the XRF
Future: The future of the Future and the future of the xrf all depend on the future of all the other people and if their futures are gonna be in the xrf, then the future of the Future looks bright and the future of the xrf looks even brighter
Coach: And anything you wish to add to close the interview?
Future: People might look at me as a big, intense, well-built guy who wrestles for a living because he needs the money to supplement his jell-o habit. But that's not true. I'm just a regular guy. I have the same itches on my nutsack, the same crust around my eyeballs, and I like to read romance novels. I'm just a regular guy, who just happens to be the Duffman Champion. That's all.
Coach: Word!
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